It is a well-known fact that two people can witness the same event and come away with vastly different impressions. When they meet, they will point at each other and exclaim “That’s not how it happened!” For a prime example of this, just get my sisters and me in a room together, discussing any given childhood experience. You wouldn’t believe that we could possibly be describing the same thing.
Some of this phenomenon can be accounted for by lapses in memory, but most of it is the result of differences in perspective. Culture, prior experience and personality all play into a person’s perceptions.
Among the most famous examples of this is the “young lady or old lady” optical illusion. As a child, I remember being fascinated by this.
My naughty father reinforced this point by drawing a light bulb and claiming that it was actually a picture of a fat lady bent over with her butt crack (the filament) showing. I wish I could reproduce this here, but I have exactly zero drawing talent. Stick figures are as far as I go.
Differences in perception are exacerbated by failures in communication. In my generation, this was inculcated in us in school by means of such games as “telephone,” wherein one person whispers a phrase in another’s ear and the recipient passes it on to the next person, the next, and so on. By the time the message reaches the opposite end of the room, it is ludicrously mangled beyond recognition.
While attending a training class this week, I found myself thinking about the skewing and skewering of the facts by miscommunication and variations in perception. I had to laugh at myself when I realized how ludicrously wrong I had received and interpreted the intended message.
The training class was divided into groups to do an exercise. One member of my group wrote the days of the week on slips of paper and had everyone draw one to determine the day on which each of us would serve as leader. This is a photo of the slip that I pulled:
At first, I was piqued to have drawn Monday, meaning I would have to lead first.
You can imagine how confused I was when the instructor began leading the group. That’s when I realized that I had been looking at the slip upside down! Duh! My day is Wednesday!
I was pleased to learn that I had a few days to prepare. But I was truly gobsmacked when I learned that a different class member would be leading on Wednesday. I had to stop the speaker and ask for an explanation. That’s when I was informed that my day to lead was actually Thursday!! Imagine my embarrassment when I learned that Monday was an instructor-led day and that the other four days of the week had been numbered. I had drawn Day 3, which would be Thursday.
I wish I were making this up, but sometimes I have to be reminded that truth is stranger than fiction.
Never assume that your point of view is superior to that of another. While differences in perception are often chalked up to matters of opinion, it is also quite possible to be completely and flatly wrong.