We are still nearly three months away from the start of major league baseball, but I am spending the off-season toning up my pitching arm.
Rather than using a ball with stitching across the middle, however, I practice by playing a little game called Fling-It out in the laundry room.
Our washer and dryer are situated across the laundry room from each other. This was necessary due to the very small size of the room. As I scoop the laundry out of the washer, it would only be about three or four steps over to the dryer. But when I’ve got a load of whites full of socks and undies, I have the choice of either doing the three-step over and over again or carrying a mountain of clothes all at once, followed by a reconnaissance mission to retrieve all the loosies that have fallen off the top and sides of the mountain.
Or I can just take the lazy way out and play Fling-It.
They say necessity is the mother of invention, but I think the real mother of invention is laziness. Exhibit A is the snooze button on your alarm clock. Am I right?
In light of the above, I am quite certain that someone will become a multimillionaire when he or she invents what I like to call the “auto-drop washer/dryer combo.”
The concept is very simple: Enhance current technology by taking advantage of gravity and by overcoming centrifugal force. Start with one of those stacked washer/dryer units like they stick in closets in little apartments. Washer goes on top. A large, round opening that can be in the open or the closed position is cut into the bottom of the washer/top of the dryer. During the wash cycle, the opening remains closed. When washing is done, a sensor causes the cover on the opening to rotate to the open position. Metal flaps around the edges of the washer tub move forward, pushing the clothes that are stuck to the sides of the washer into the opening, where gravity drops them into the dryer. Sensor causes the cover over the opening to rotate to the closed position. Dryer is activated to the settings pre-selected by the user.
And in households across the land, the treble cry of “Switch the laundry!” was heard no more.
All you entrepreneurs out there, what are you waiting for? Your millions await. Untold numbers of my fellow lazies will provide you with adulation and undying gratitude forever. Heck, I bet you could even get on the Ellen show.
In the meantime, however, I’ll be placing a fabric softener sheet in the dryer before I walk three steps across the room to play the next round of Fling-It.