I have been experiencing the strangest dreams lately, and last night’s was a doozy.
My wife recently introduced me to a new Zynga game on the iPhone. As if my addiction to Words With Friends weren’t bad enough.
This one is called “What’s the Phrase?” She and I usually have half a dozen games of WTP? going on at any given time.
When I slide on my iPhone, the game notifications scroll all the way down my screen. Some of these Wheel of Fortune style puzzles boggle the mind. When the blank squares show up on my phone, my first thought about WTP? is usually WTF?
I’m already suffering from “mouse hand” and the beginnings of a repetitive stress injury from spending entirely too much time behind this glowing laptop screen. Because one good turn deserves another, I’ve gone ahead and exacerbated the situation by becoming addicted to a game that requires me to flick my wrist repeatedly to “spin.”
First, the player gets to observe his or her opponent’s last series of moves played back. You gotta love Zynga’s sense of Schadenfreude as expressed in its status updates. “Yes! Your opponent Busted!” (Not to mention the mascot’s long teal tongue sticking out each time you win a round.)
This stupid game has so saturated my soul that now I’m dreaming about it.
I didn’t buy a vowel (all that this game is missing is Vanna White), nor did I spend some coins on a Bomb from my Power-Ups.
No, indeed. That would make too much sense.
Instead, in my dream I was trying to solve one of these dastardly puzzles entirely in Hebrew.
Somehow, I was able to sense that the answer to the puzzle was something like “The children would like a ball and a doll under the Christmas tree.” Only I couldn’t remember the Hebrew words for half these things.
So I was left spinning and spinning, striking out with the big red X each time I chose a khaf, zayin or shin.
Dang it! Okay, Aron, get your act together here. You can do this.
I know “children” are niños. No, wait, that’s Spanish. Dammit! Oh, yeah, y’ladim. Got it.
Ball is kadur. See? Now we’re getting somewhere. I have no clue how to say “doll” in Hebrew. May have to buy an aleph or an ayin for that one.
“Tree” is etz. But what the heck is the Hebrew word for “Christmas?” Is there even a word for “Christmas” in the Hebrew language? We celebrate Hanukkah!
I think takhat is the word for “beneath” or “under.” If I can hit that golden 1,000 square on the wheel, I can pick a tav and get two for the price of one.
Okay, here we go. Almost have this puppy solved. Flick that wrist! Fwip, fwip, fwip, fwiiiipppp… No, no, stop, stop, STOP!!