Quick Pick


Uncle Guacamole visits the convenience store down the street.

“Please make sure the Coke rings up correctly.  It’s on sale for 99 cents.”

 The smiling clerk provides cheerful customer service.

“Yes, sir.  And would you like to buy a Mega Millions ticket today?  It’s up to 149 million dollars.  All you need is a dollar and a dream.”

“Um, I have a dollar, but I don’t have a dream, sorry.”

“Oh, that’s unusual, sir.  Most people who come in here have a dream but can’t come up with a buck.”

“Well, I had a nightmare last night.  Does that count?  Ooo, let me tell you about it.  I was walking down the street at night and all of a sudden there was this snake right in front of me.  I mean, it so dark I couldn’t see it and I practically tripped over the thing.  And let me tell you, this was one of those big, thick snakes from South America or Africa or someplace, like on the nature shows on TV.  And it was all coiled up but it lifted up its head and just jumped off the ground and starts hissing and spitting at me like it’s going to bite me on the nose!  I panicked and turned around and started running, but it starts coming after me!  I can hear the hissing right behind me.  My heart was pounding and I thought that thing was going to bite me on the butt any second.  And then I tripped and fell flat on my face on the pavement!”

“Oh no!  What happened then?

“I woke up.”

“That sounds horrible!”

“Yeah, it was, but hey… I guess I do have a dream to go with my dollar!”

“I don’t think that’s what they mean.  Haven’t you ever dreamed that you would win millions of dollars in the lottery and travel to exotic places and buy mansions and stuff?”

“Not really.”

“Well, you’re no fun.  But I’ll tell you what.  To make up for that horrible, awful nightmare, I’ll let you play the Mega.  How many you want?”

“I dunno.  How many can I get?”

“As many as you want.”

“Okay.  In that case, I’ll take them all.”

“It’s a dollar for each one, wise guy.”

“Do I have to have a dream for each one, too?  Cuz this was the only time I had that snake dream and, uh, well, I can’t think of another dream, I’m afraid.”

“Okie dokie, one then.  But you’ll have a much better chance of winning if you buy more tickets.  Nobody picks just one set of numbers.  Don’t you want to have a better chance of winning?”

“But I heard that you have the same chance of winning no matter what numbers you pick, so don’t I have the same chance no matter how much money I spend?”

“Huh, I never thought of it that way.”

“Anyway, as I said, I only have one dream.”

“Yeah, I know.  The one about the snakes.  But if you have a dream about winning the jackpot, I think you can use the same dream for all of your tickets.”

“I can?  Wow!  Does that mean I can use the same dollar for all my tickets too?”

“No, sir.  You can have one dream but you have to pay a dollar for each ticket.”

“Well that doesn’t seem very fair, now does it?”

 “Uh, I don’t make the rules, sir.  Wanna pick your numbers?  Go over there and get a card.  Mark your numbers and bring it back to me.  Or do you want me to pick your numbers?”

“Wait a minute.  If you pick my numbers, does that mean that you get the $149 million?”

“No, sir.  It’s your dollar, so you get the money.  Anyway, I’m not going to pick your numbers, the computer does that.”

“Hmm, does the computer have a good record of picking winning numbers?”

“Well, we did have a fifty dollar winner in this store just last week.”

“Does that mean that I’m probably only going to win fifty dollars?”

“No, sir.  You probably won’t win anything.”

“Then why would I want to waste my dollar?”

“Because you never know.  Anything is possible.”

Anything? You mean it’s possible that I’ll win the 149 million and never again have a dream that I’m being chased by a big snake?”

“It’s possible that you’re holding up my line.  And it’s possible that I’ll get fired because of it.  And it’s possible that our security guard is about to escort you out of the store.  Next!”

NaBloPoMo November 2013

One thought on “Quick Pick

  1. Pingback: #9 Dream | A Map of California

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